the Rising Jurist

Tests for Husbands and Wives

Tests for Husbands and Wives purports to be a "blueprint for happiness," at least as envisioned in 1939. It consists of two tests, one for each spouse, each with 100 questions: 50 merits and 50 demerits. The testee checks the actions or qualities that apply to his or her spouse, tally the results, and see where said spouse falls on the scale.

So Mrs. tRJ and I took these tests and were not particularly surprised at the results. I was ranked a “superior” husband, she a "poor" wife. Some observations:

• The expectation of husbands has not really changed since 1939. The expectation of wives has, of course, changed dramatically.

• The test makes suppositions that reveal much about the era for which it was written. For instance, it is assumed that you frequently entertain guests, and that card-playing is the diversion of choice.

• It is impossible for either spouse to get a perfect score unless they have children and attend church. Again with the suppositions.

For her part, my wife is appropriately amused by the bizarre expectations placed on wives in 1939—dressing for breakfast, no walking around in stocking feet—and finds it hard to believe that this is what was required. "I would like to think that I would be the same way I am now, in 1939, and would have been way before my time," she asserted. "Or a pioneer in modern housewifery, you might say."

Wednesday, May 14, 2008 (0)

DHS No-Fly List Grounds Air Marshals

Come on, DHS!

Some federal air marshals have been denied entry to flights they are assigned to protect when their names matched those on the terrorist no-fly list, and the agency says it's now taking steps to make sure their agents are allowed to board in the future. The problem with federal air marshals (FAM) names matching those of suspected terrorists on the no-fly list has persisted for years, say air marshals familiar with the situation.

I know you prefer to advance the illusion of safety through arbitrary inconveniences, but let me suggest an easy fix to this problem: ID. When a guy or gal becomes an air marshal, take their picture, affix it to a credit card-sized piece of plastic that reads FEDERAL AIR MARSHALL [NAME HERE] and then laminate that sucker. With me so far?

When Steve Smith, Federal Air Marshal, comes through your line, and you see Steve Smith, Suspected Terrorist, on your no-fly list, the helpful Steve Smith can produce this ID that you gave him! Homicidal Steve Smith won't have this cool ID, so you can continue to hassle him. But helpful Steve Smith will be able to get on the plane he is supposed to be protecting.

Or you could do us all a huge favor and ditch these ridiculous lists altogether. Surely we can do better than a tome of first and last names of people for whom air travel will forever be a huge pain in the ass.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008 (3) Tags↓
air travel, DHS, TSA

1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die

I've thumbed through 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die a few times, noting some titles I've read, some I should read, and an awful lot of books I've never heard of. I never have purchased the book, given that I'm already sitting on enough lists as it is.

However, via Kottke, I now have the list for free. Oh, sneaky internet! So how am I doing on this exhaustive list?

Continue reading →

Monday, May 12, 2008 (1) Tags↓
lists, literature

I Beat the Internet

•Things we've always known: First-born kids do have it tougher.

“When a job needs to get done, it’s the habit of the parent to call on the first-born, because they’re the most reliable and conscientious,” [psychologist Kevin] Leman says. But it's no accident that the oldest has become a responsible wonder child; it's the parenting strategy that made them that way.

•Infographic: All of Inflation's Little Parts. We spend more on alcohol away from home than we do on milk.

•Reusable sandwich wrap. Want.

•Airborne electricity grabs hold of a volcanic plume:

Volcano lightning

(Via BLDG BLOG and delicious.)

Sunday, May 11, 2008 (1) Tags↓
economy, internet beating, science, weather

The Avett Brothers Put on a Fine Show

The same day I was introduced to the recorded works of the excellent everybodyfields, I was also introduced to The Avett Brothers. Much like the former, the latter is difficult to place in a genre. "Non-traditional bluegrass" seems to get thrown around quite a bit. I'm not sure bluegrass really covers it, except to concede that there is a banjo in use.

At any rate, we saw them last night at High Noon Saloon, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. They are a high energy group, which always gets a crowd going (and that's really what makes live shows so special).

They did not play my favorite song—"The Ballad of Love and Hate" from Emotionalism, which I can safely recommend to all (apparently with the caveat that it contains banjo)—despite the fact that it would make a most excellent encore. But they played plenty of other songs with high singalongability. And they managed to have more people listening/singing than talking, which is always a challenge. Honestly, why do people go to shows if they're just going to talk?

Also, to the guy who sat in the balcony screaming his love for the band: it's not a contest. Many people came to this show because they actually like the band. You don't need to demonstrate that you think you are the biggest fan in the room. Indeed, you should simply enjoy the fact that your favorite band is getting so much attention. Besides, when you screamed over the end of "Salina," making it impossible to hear the chilling harmony outro, I questioned whether you knew this band's material that well after all. So, seriously: don't be that guy.

Saturday, May 10, 2008 (0) Tags↓
live music, music

The Week in Law

•Federal Circuit Court of Appeals issued its opinion in Atamirzayeva v. U.S. [PDF], which answered the question of whether a foreign citizen has a right to just compensation under the Fifth Amendment for a taking of property that occurs in a foreign country; the answer was "no."

•In Oregon, a federal jury ordered Payless Shoesource to pay $304.6 million for infringing on Adidas' three-stripe trademark; this is the largest amount of damages ever awarded for trademark infringement.

•In Texas, three teens were arrested for after digging up a corpse and removing the skull; the teens were planning to use the skull as a bong.

•Los Angeles Times opinion: "The Adam Miranda case shows that the California death penalty costs too much in time, money and justice."

•Bruce Ackerman and Jennifer Nou: "Indiana's law insists on a photo ID to vote, which in turn requires documents, like a birth certificate or passport, that verify identity. Getting these papers costs voters money as well as time and effort. This leads to the question the court failed to ask: Does the extra expense violate the absolute ban on all 'taxes' imposed by the 24th Amendment?"

Friday, May 9, 2008 (0) Tags↓
5th Am., death penalty, IP, trademark, voting

Note on Modern Usage

Orange Shoe Gym sign

Ok, Orange Shoe Gym. Your options were:

Your life is anything but conventional.
But then again, so are our results.

Or:

Your life is not conventional.
But then again, neither are our results.

The mishmash you decided to go with makes no sense. I realize you're all about deep-knee squats and soy protein, but a little syntactical effort would be nice.

Thursday, May 8, 2008 (3) Tags↓
language, modern usage

Principal Nixes PDAs, Blacklists Potential Offenders

At least one school administrator has her priorities straight:

The ACLU says in September 2007, [the principal of Hollis F. Price Middle College High School Daphne] Beasley asked her staff to give her the names of students who were couples, heterosexual and homosexual, because she wanted to keep an eye on them to cut down on public displays of affection.

She's accused of publicly posting the names of those students, including two boys, Andrew and Nicholas, who had just started dating. The ACLU says that in doing so, Beasley revealed their relationship to other students, teachers and even their parents.

Finally someone is cracking down on all those kids and their pesky romantic expression! Back when I was in school, there were so many couples holding hands that sneaking out to smoke was like a game of Red Rover I couldn't win. And I could scarcely make it to my daily butt-whooping for all the kids passing notes in the halls. And don't get me started on the gang problem. Do you know that the Hardcore Whiteboys and the Baby Guerillas never had a proper parking lot brawl because there was always some couple giggling awkwardly off by a rusty LeBaron? It isn't right. It isn't right at all.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008 (0) Tags↓
education, sex

Roy Pearson Sues to Get Job Back

I tell you what: That Roy Pearson—of the $54M pants lawsuit infamy—is just a tiny gift to bloggers:

The former D.C. judge who was fired after becoming a symbol of runaway litigation for suing over lost pants has claimed he suffered “humiliation” and “physical illness” in a new lawsuit seeking reinstatement and at least $1 million in damages.

In a 52-page lawsuit filed in the D.C. federal court, Roy Pearson claimed that the District and a city judicial commission wrongfully dismissed him for exposing corruption within the Office of Administrative Hearings, the department where he worked.

Even though the commission claimed that the pants suit had very little impact on their decision to dismiss Pearson, I would wager that it can be blamed for much of his "illness" and "humiliation." I am embarrassed for him, and I don't even know the guy.

For the record, Pearson was dismissed after a review of his proceedings and decisions proved him to lack "appropriate judgment and judicial temperament." I am not sure how a man who stuck with a multi-million dollar lawsuit over some lost pants can really dispute that finding.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008 (0) Tags↓
litigious, Roy Pearson

Monday Morning Doodle

A long meeting found me returning to an old favorite. Once he was on paper, things took a rather sacrilicious turn.

Woo! Sin!

Monday, May 5, 2008 (2) Tags↓
art, doodle

Police Determined to Reveal Anonymous Blogger

For being so progressive, Wisconsin is proving a tough place to blog. First, in an effort to silence a critical blogger, Sheboygan claimed it could control who linked to city websites. Then, a Cudahy man was arrested for making (admittedly asinine) comments critical of the local teacher's union.

Now, Whitewater's police chief is spending public funds to discover the identity of an anonymous blogger who has been openly critical of various officials. The blogger, who calls himself John Adams, has a particular beef with the police chief, whom Adams says misuses his position. Ironic, that.

Continue reading →

Monday, May 5, 2008 (0) Tags↓
1st Am., blogging, Wisconsin

I Beat the Internet

• Sportsmanship defined: Western Oregon senior Sara Tucholsky hit her first career home run in one season's final games. As the rounded the bases, she missed first. When she turned back to touch it, her knee gave out. By rule, any assistance from coaches while she was an active runner would result in an out. The only option available was to replace Tucholsky at first with a pinch runner and have the hit recorded as a single. Just as the coach was about to make the substitution, a senior from the opposing team spoke up. "Excuse me, would it be okay if we carried her around and she touched each bag?"

• Map: Who Has the Oil? (see also, Chart: Gas Prices Adjusted for Inflation)

• Are you lonely? Do you hate making decisions? Hold a meeting!

• Is Pac-Man a horror story about an astronaut with a drug abuse problem? Could be.

• Orangutan hunting:

• Facebook in Real Life:

(Via Concurring Opinions, Delicious, Digg, ESPN, MeFi, Simple Complexity, and TreeHugger.)

Sunday, May 4, 2008 Tags↓
art, economy, energy, internet beating, science, sports

The Week in Law

•SCOTUS upheld an Indiana law requiring voters to show a photo ID.

•In Tennessee, a couple who lost their son in Iraq sought class-action status for a lawsuit against an Arizona merchant who produces anti-war shirts featuring the names of fallen soldiers.

•At the University of Wisconsin Law School, students filed a complaint with Law School Dean Ken Davis Friday after Associate Dean Walter Dickey canceled an event called "Sex Toys 101."

•Floyd Abrams: "In recent years, English libel law has come to have a disturbing impact on the right of Americans to speak out."

•New York Sun editorial: "If the judges in the State of New York want to understand why the people of the State of New York haven't raised their pay in nearly a generation, let them study the decision handed down this week by Judge Jonathan Lippman in the case involving the first bombing of the World Trade Center. It's hard to recall a decision that is more outrageous. Judge Lippman, whom Governor Spitzer appointed to the First Department, upheld the notion that the Port Authority was 68% liable for the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, while the terrorists were only 32% liable."

Friday, May 2, 2008 Tags↓
1st Am., sex, voting

Man Attempts to Pass $360B Check

As an undergrad, I took a course titled Sociology of Crime, in which we spent the semester discussing various ridiculous theories about what motivates criminals (see, e.g., strain theory). I maintain that the explanation is quite simple: criminals are stupid.

A man has been accused of attempting to pass a $360 billion check, which he claims was given to him by his girlfriend’s mother to start a record business, Fort Worth police said.

Charles Ray Fuller, 21, of Crowley, [Texas], was arrested on April 22 on an accusation of forgery, police said.

Passing a bad check is one of the easiest frauds to pull off, as evidenced by the wall of shame you see at every local eatery (and the subsequent refusal of business to accept checks at all). So it takes a certain deftness to get caught in the act. Appending nine zeros to a check amount is a sure-fire way to make that happen.

Thursday, May 1, 2008 Tags↓
criminals, sociology, stupidity

In My Professional Opinion: Bonkers

South Carolina high schooler Ryan Schallenberger was arrested after his parents intercepted 20 pounds of ammonium nitrate the teen had delivered by mail, ultimately uncovering a plot to bomb his high school. Upon being arrested, the boy told sheriff's deputies that he wanted to die, go to heaven, and "kill Jesus."

In a Federal hearing, prosecutors argued that the boy should undergo psychological evaluation.

Well, I've studied a little psychology in my day, so let me offer my armchair analysis: The kid is CRAZY. I had my share of rough days in high school, but I never thought about destroying the place. Nor did I daydream about slaughtering my classmates. And I certainly didn't include the murder of the son of God on my to-do lists. Seriously: wow. That's some Hollywood-level CRAZY.

Meanwhile, kid's mom is suffering from her own delusional fantasy, the one in which her son just has "a bad temper." Look, my little brother had a bad temper. He liked to slam doors to end arguments. He was also a fan of "I hate you!" But, to my knowledge, he never wanted to take his own life just to get a crack at Jesus. That would be CRAZY.

Fortunately, kid's mom was able to set aside her "he's planning to go to college" pipedream long enough to wonder why her son had mail-ordered 20 pounds of fertilizer. Good catch.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008 Tags↓
criminals, insanity

Recent posts
• Tests for Husbands and Wives
• DHS No-Fly List Grounds Air Marshals
• 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die
• I Beat the Internet
• The Avett Brothers Put on a Fine Show

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